Lord of the er Pirates?
by Kaycee Turner
Summary: The story starts and stuff happens! -gasp- I know!
1. Chapter 1

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-  
  
This is my first try at a parody, cause basicly I got super bored and felt like it. So beat that!  
  
Don't own any of these characters, you would think after seeing the movie 23 times they would let me  
  
own Will or Jack or atleast that dog in the jail, but noooo.  
  
R&R!!  
  
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-  
  
Young Elizabeth : [standing at the bow of a ship and singing] .We pillage, we plunder, we something and stuff.   
  
Drink up me hiddies yo ho![ Gibbs puts his hand on her shoulder which surprises her]   
  
Gibbs : Do not call me a hoe!  
  
Young Elizabeth: But you are!  
  
Gibbs: Your one to be talking little missy. Anyways, cursed pirates sail these waters, you dont want to bring them  
  
down on us now do ye?  
  
Me: [giggles] You said ye!!  
  
Norrington: Mr. Gibbs that will do! Its my turn to try to Elizabeth get Elizabeth in the sack.  
  
Me: Ewwww!! [pukes] Thats just soo not right!  
  
Norrington: Find me a better looking wench and this little freak will be overboard in seconds.  
  
Me: HOLY SHIT YOU SAID WILL!! Where is he anyways, shouldn't he be here by now? [dazes off into dreamland  
  
thinking about Will]  
  
Gibbs : Okay, well then that was interesting.  
  
Norrington: On your way man whore.  
  
Gibbs : Aye, Lieutenant. It's bad luck to have two women on board, even one so crazy over a character that hasn't  
  
even showed up yet.  
  
Norrington: Um...you mean the author? I don't know how she got here so just ignore her. Anyways, back to the mini  
  
wench, no more singing about pirates cause you know...its like...bad.  
  
Young Elizabeth : That is soo not fair! Im telling daddy and I am so cancelling our date for tomarrow!!  
  
Norrington: -pouts-  
  
Young Elizabeth: -looks out into water seeing something- Look! Theres a ugly boy in the water who will be ever so  
  
hott in 8 years!!  
  
Norrington: Man overboard! Fetch a Hook! Haul him aboard. [they get him on board] He's still breathing.  
  
Gibbs : [spots burning ship] Mary , Mother of God!  
  
Governor Swann : What happened here?  
  
Norrington: It's most likely the powder magazine. Merchant vessels run heavily armed.  
  
Gibbs : A lot of good it did them. Everyone's thinking it; I'm just saying it - pirates!  
  
Governor Swann : There's no proof of that. It was probably an accident.  
  
Norrington: Rouse the Captain immediately!  
  
Me: [coming back to reality realizing Will is here] hehe...thats great Norrington, how are you planning on rousing   
  
the captain? Been working on your lap dancing?  
  
Norrington: [gently pushes me overboard making sure no one notices]  
  
Governor Swann : Elizabeth I want you to accompany the boy. He'll be in your charge. Take care of him. [she nods  
  
and walks over to the young Will ]  
  
Young Elizabeth : [Will awakes, grabbing her wrist] Fiesty today now aren't we sexxy boy? Whats your name?  
  
Young Will: ...Will Turner. Um why do you want to know?  
  
Young Elizabeth: Oh no reason [takes out marriage certificate and writes in Will's name]  
  
Young Will: Guards! Guards!! Im trying to play the young Orlando Bloom, please get this ugly girl away from me!! Guards?!  
  
Young Elizabeth : I'm watching over you, sexy . [ Will pretends to faint hoping Elizabeth will eventually go away, she notices  
  
medallion and examines it] You're a p-pirate. [hides it when Norrington approaches]  
  
Norrington: Has he said anything?  
  
Young Elizabeth : His name is William Turner , that's all I found out.  
  
Norrington: [to sailors] Take him below.   
  
[ Elizabeth studies the medallion closer and upon looking up sees a ship with the black flag flying at its mast; she closes  
  
her eyes]   
  
[End dream] 


	2. Chapter 2

Nope still dont own anything. R&R!!  
  
-_-_-_-  
  
[ Elizabeth awakes and decides to take out the medallion from a hiding place in her  
  
bureau drawer; she puts it on; there's a knock on the door]   
  
Governor Swann : Elizabeth ! Are you alright? Are you decent?  
  
Elizabeth : [hides medallion in the bodice of her nightgown, throws on a robe]   
  
Yes, yes!  
  
Governor Swann: [walking in] Still abed this out?  
  
Elizabeth: No but...Id be willing to go back...with you, it's just too scary to be   
  
alone in my bed [inching closer to her father]...you know, all alone.   
  
[places her hand on her fathers chest]  
  
Governor Swann : Elizabeth, your mother will find out!   
  
Elizabeth: Oh, I dont mind...  
  
[maid opens the curtains and the window, pouring in sunshine]  
  
Elizabeth: HOLY SHIT! [realizing she just made a move on her -gulp- dad]  
  
FATHER! GET OUT!! I THOUGHT YOU WERE WILL!!  
  
Governor Swann: Oh please Elizabeth [winks at his daughter]  
  
Me: [breaking in through Elizabeth's window, covered in seaweed] Damn, yall   
  
thought you could get rid of me that easily? Took me 8 years to get out of  
  
the ocean, I met this nice old man down there, said his name was Bootstrap,  
  
he helped me get out. Anyways EWWWW [pukes again]your dad just...EWWWW!! Im   
  
goin downstairs to keep Will company...yeah thats right,to keep him company.   
  
[walks out]  
  
Governor Swann: Well that was a lovely distraction. But isn't it a beautiful day,   
  
Elizabeth? I have a gift for you. [reveals dress]  
  
Elizabeth : Oh, it's so...so...interesting! [gives a forced smile]  
  
Governor Swann : Isn't it?  
  
Elizabeth : May I inquire as to the occasion?  
  
Governor Swann : Does a father need an occasion to dote upon his daughter?   
  
Elizabeth: Yeah, pretty much. It's for that idiots promotion ceremony today isn't   
  
it?  
  
Governor Swann: No no Elizabeth, no ofcoarse not. Its just...  
  
Elizabeth: Is so!!  
  
Governor Swann: Is not!  
  
Elizabeth: Is so!  
  
Governor Swann: Is not!  
  
Elizabeth: You know what? It is! Look, right here on page 7 of the script   
  
[takes out script] Your line 'Actually, I, uh…I had hoped you might  
  
wear it for the ceremony today.' Told you so!  
  
Governor Swann: Damnit, who knew a dyslexic girl would figure that out.  
  
Me: [from downstairs] Hey! Im dyslexic thats so not cool...ooo a cookie!  
  
Governor Swann : Im guessing since you knew that, you know how Norrington fancies  
  
you. Elizabeth ? How's it coming?  
  
Elizabeth : It's difficult to say.  
  
Governor Swann : I'm told it's the latest fashion in London.  
  
Elizabeth : Well, women in London must've learned not to breathe.  
  
Me: [Again from downstairs] Ack would you guys stop yelling?! Its hard for   
  
me to conentrate on eating my cookie. And Elizabeth, if you have such a   
  
hard time, you can go to London and figure out how to breathe. I'll take   
  
your place here, really, no trouble [stops talking and passes out at the  
  
sight of Will walking in]  
  
Servant: [seeing me] Well that was smooth. M'lord , you have a visitor.   
  
[ Will studies a sconce and upon touching it, a piece comes off in his hand;  
  
he buries it in the vase that's holding canes and umbrellas]   
  
Governor Swann : [walks downstairs after the servant] Ah, Mr. Turner ,   
  
good to see you again.  
  
Will: Good day, sir. I have your order. [opens case and takes out the sword]  
  
The blade is folded steel, that's shiny expensive stuff laid into the   
  
handle. If I may? [balances the sword]Perfectly balanced. The tang is   
  
nearly the full width of the blade. [flips the sword and astounds   
  
everyone with his amazing ability]   
  
Governor Swann : [takes the sword] Impressive, very impressive. Ah, now,   
  
Commodore Norrington is going to be very pleased with this.  
  
Do pass my compliments on to your Master.  
  
Will : Um excuse me, I made this, not my master. Why the hell would you want  
  
to thank him?!Ungreatful freak...-mumbles-  
  
Governor Swann : [enter Elizabeth ] Ah, Elizabeth , you look absolutely...  
  
interesting.  
  
Elizabeth : Will! So good to see you. I had a dream about you last night.  
  
Will : About me?  
  
Elizabeth : Yes, about the day we played strip poker and you payed me to keep  
  
my clothes on, do you remember?  
  
Governor Swann : Elizabeth , is that entirely proper for you to…?  
  
Will : [looking around nervously] That never happened, Miss Swann.  
  
Elizabeth : Will, how many times must I ask you to call me Elizabeth ?  
  
Will: At least once more, Miss Swann , as always.  
  
Governor Swann : There, see, at least the boy has a sense of propriety.   
  
Now, we really must be going.  
  
Elizabeth : Good day, sexy beast.  
  
Me: [falls asleep from Elizabeth and Governor Swann's talking]  
  
Will: Good day… [Elizabeth and the Governor exit, Will trailing after them,  
  
they leave in a carriage] bitch. Now wheres my lover, Casey?  
  
Me: Right here Will!  
  
Will: Oh good, now that their gone we have Elizabeth's huge bed all to  
  
ourselves. [picks me up and carries me to the bed]  
  
Me: [wakes up] Damn dream!! 


End file.
